Gods, I love limbo.. really... I received a set of odd phone calls last night.  Some girl called me three times, and then called me a fourth time from Honey's cell phone.  Which apparently is where she got my number the first three times...

Anyways, yeah, went through the angry stage, through the tears and then started attempting to look at the situation rationally.  It could be a couple of different things, but I don't know what it is yet.  And I don't know how I feel about it either.  I do know, I want answers, so we'll see when he calls me after the voicemails I left, cause I'm not calling him again.  I'm stubborn like that, and I refuse to act desperate. 

So yeah, we'll see what he has to say and see what I really believe is going on, though my friend Eric's instincts have reassured me somewhat.  His instincts, which are quite dependable, even when his focus is diffused, tend to agree with mine on this situation, so that gives me some comfort that it's not just wishful thinking on my part. 

But yeah, we'll just wait and see some more... back to limbo...

On the upside, in about an hour and a half, I'm going to a coworker/friend's house for a lingerie party.. That should be fun:)

Updates...

I know I've been rather absent the last few days, and considering the major mood swings I've been having, this is probably a good thing.  I'm still feeling a bit off kilter, and needing time to talk to honey that I'm not getting just isn't helping anything...  So I've made myself scarce around the boards, knowing that the mood I'm in doesn't help my writing and can cause problems that I would have to apologize a lot for later.

So yeah, that's where I am... Just kinda taking a break, and I hate that it's from my writing, but at the same time, I have nothing.  My brain will not focus on anything for more than a few moments, other than the RL stuff in my head and in my heart.

Work is still insane.  We're short handed, as usual.. and one of the girls was having trouble with her blood pressure last night, and another's daughter is in the hospital in Pittsburgh.  So Patti went today to join her husband and her daughter, and I'm going in at 10 tonight to cover her shift.  I just couldn't say no when the manager sounded so desperate. 

This song has been particularly hitting me lately, given my mood.  I totally understand why, and I just wish I could make someone else hear it... Though that would probably require more time to talk to him than I've had since he's been home.  It's sad, I heard from him more when he was in Iraq than I do now...

Hey baby, I guess you're wondering

What I'm doing home so soon

Naw, I ain't sick

It's just, this morning when you told me

You didn't feel like you were

special anymore

Well that broke my heart

So I had to turn around and come back

And tell you what I'm gonna do about it

I'm gonna light the bedroom candles

Take the phone out of the wall

We can lay around and talk for hours

Or maybe we won't talk at all

I'm gonna resurrect the love

That slipped away from us

And the man you've been missin'

Startin' with some long, slow kisses
I just wanna let you know how ashamed I am

For making you feel that way

Darlin', I'm so sorry

I guess I've just been focusin'

Too much time on making a living

And way too little on making love

But if you can just find it in your heart to forgive me

Girl, I swear from this moment on

You'll always know where you stand with me
I'm gonna light the bedroom candles

Take the phone out of the wall

We can lay around and talk for hours

Or maybe we won't talk at all

I'm gonna resurrect the love

That slipped away from us

And the man you've been missin'

Startin' with some long, slow kisses
'Cause what really matters most

Is you and me this close

Feeling no distance

Sharin' some long, slow kisses

Sharin' some long, slow kisses

 YAY! HE IS HOME!!!

Ok, time for a good news update:

I heard from honey last night, he's currently in Kuwait.  It's not home, but it is out of Iraq and it's a step closer to home.  So, that's a big improvement from worrying that he's one of the soldiers being lost in Baghdad.  My heart breaks for their loved ones at home, but there's still that part of me thanking the Gods that it's not him.  When I found out that he was in Kuwait, I almost cried with the relief it brought. 

Anyways, that's about it on this end, I'm fairly out of it lately, just tired and not sleeping well.  The muse is pretty quiet, I'm having no luck with all but two of my characters, so I do what I can with those two, and sometimes I can't even get them.  And I've just felt restless and itchy for lack of a better term...

I think maybe AnThaya was right when she theorized about Earth's karma trying to readjust... I've been moody and wanting to snuggle up to honey more than usual.  And soon, I'll get that chance... lol.

Ok, update time again.  I'm currently on my new laptop, still installing stuff and getting everything set up the way I want it. I have to install PSP 8.1 yet, and a few other things, but we're up and online and YAY!!

Now if I'd just get that phone call I've been waiting on... Oh well, guess I can't get everything... LOL

More updates:

Good news is I've talked to honey a few times in the last couple days.  He could be home as early as Jan. 1st. BIG Yay!

On what Eric advised me of, I don't think I have anything to worry about, Eric's instincts tend to agree, he just couldn't NOT say something to me, which I respect, and appreciate. 

More good news.  I finally broke down and ordered a laptop.  Gram and Mom are buying a new computer for the house, for downstairs, and I decided I wanted my own laptop so once this beast dies, hell with the warranty, we're just going to let it go.  Gram and Mom have a new Dell shipping to them now, with a flat screen monitor, 512MB of Memory, that Dual SDRAM stuff I think, 60 or 80GB hard drive.. It's a nice system, and thanks to work, I get a decent discount, which is doubled if we get the 3 or 4 year warranty.. which we did.

And my laptop has a full gig of memory, and a 60GB hard drive, so I'm excited.  Hehe.  I also have a 2.8Gh P4 in it.  Got an external floppy, 256MB memory key, and a surge suppressor/mini-usb hub thingy too.  We bought a wireless router today, I'm going to hook that up to this beast tomorrow during Kellen's naptime I believe.  Then provided all our wireless adapters and such work, we'll be all set up to run three computers until this one dies, and then we'll be down to two.  Gram just needs to get a desk for the middle room, and get the other stuff out of there, and I need to get something for up here, like an inexpensive vanity or something with a good chair so I can sit here and relax, though I can always be on my bed with a laptop.. hehe.. Anyways, that's the news from here..

Yet another update:

I don't like holidays.. too much family time, too much stress and just not enough time.  Kellen got a pile of new toys and some new movies, he couldn't even finish opening all his presents yesterday, he wanted to play with his toys.

I got some clothes, and some candles.. lots of candles...

And I just heard from honey tonight, as I left work, for the mildest of the last four hell nights... I worked Thursday, Friday, Saturday and tonight, and they were all nuts.  But tonight was the easiest of them.  And then honey was trying to message me, but I was still there and I messaged him as soon as I could, and when I got online, it was time for him to go... Didn't even get a goodbye kissy face:(  And it just sucks.  I so need to talk to him, like really sit down and talk and I can't do it and this whole no contact thing is just awful.  And no one at home gets it, they have never understood how it's so much easier for me to have friends scattered all around the world than it is for me to have friends here.  But I've always found it easier to be accepted online than I have here at home.  Here, I've always been the outcast, and I'm not that online anymore, and they just never understood that.

But yeah.  Eric heard something that made him advise me to be cautious.  Eric never advises me to be cautious unless he's heard something pretty bad, so I need to talk to Honey, see just what's going on, from the little bit I got out of Eric...But yeah, this majorly sucks.

Anyways, that's what's going on...

Anyone else noticing that an awful lot of us from the boards are more right brained?  Except of course, Steph, and someone has to keep us organized...:p

Your Brain Usage Profile:

Auditory : 52%
Visual : 47%
Left : 45%
Right : 55%

Oh gods, I'm exhausted.  We did our Sheetz Family Christmas shop yesterday, so that means I came home from work Friday night, at least I only worked until 9, then went to bed at 12:30, was up at 6, did the shop, got back over an hour later than we were supposed to cause they let the second group of stores in too soon, came home for all of 20 minutes before Kellen got back from mom's Christmas party at work, played with him for an hour, and then went back to work from 3-11.  And then archived two more boards at Ingralies.  Yeah.. Made it to bed around oh... 3 something... and I'm feeling it today... But I work 3-9 and then I'm off for FOUR whole days... Monday and Tuesday, I need to work on my final paper though and it needs to be in by 5pm on Wednesday.

But yeah... I'm going to go curl up in a ball now...