July 5, 2006
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Life…
You know, I’ve come to the conclusion that most people are retarded. Aside from work, which only gives me far too many points to illustrate that fact, we’ll go with my personal life.
I gave up seeing a guy I really like for someone that I’ve had feelings for for a long time. The major issue is the guy I like is near home, and the guy I’ve had feelings for is in Texas. Now things were going great, until both the guy in Texas (Tommy) and I started to get scared.
Now things get complicated. Today, after I’ve reigned my fears in and decided to just stick to the course I’d chosen, he starts freaking out over the distance. And the fact that now, this girl his mom really likes that he’s had a thing for since high school might be thinking about him the way he’s always thought about her.
So, we talk, and it’s not just the other girl, it’s the fear over the distance and how many obstacles there are. And I think we’re going to slow things down, go back to dating casually near us, see what happens kind of thing, but at the same time, I know, in my heart, that he’s the right one for me. But I also know that I can’t fight for something when the other person is too scared to fight.
So, I’m going to see about talking to Eric tonight, see if he wants to see a movie or something this weekend, try to explain to him what’s happened, as last he knew Tommy and I were serious, and maybe just go back to being casual cause I know that my heart is with Tommy, but that doesn’t mean I need to devote my every waking moment to him. Not to mention, if he’s going to have doubts when we are together, I’d sure as hell rather know NOW than later. I mean, it’s a little late once I up and move, you know?
So yeah.. People are retarded.
