May 17, 2005
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I talked to Loaffy last night, for the first time since January. I think it did us both some good, though I can’t say what is going to happen next. We’re not back together and it would take a hell of a lot for me to agree to give him another chance, especially while he’s still with this other girl. Who just happens to still be married… And she’s pregnant.. with Loaffy’s kid… Her husband’s deployed overseas, but he’s home on R&R now. I told him flat out he’s being played, but it’s his life, his choice. The sad part… I know he deserves whatever he gets (and he knows it too), but damned if I don’t still care. Can we just permanently tattoo sucker on my forehead?
As for Kev… I don’t know what to think, he’s not very good about making time to even email me or leave me offlines or anything. He’s done a little, but I so need to feel like I’m a priority before I’ll be anything more than his friend. But oh well… Y’know, I don’t even know what I want right now. I would love to have an actual relationship with Keven, when he’s home and we’re both able to give each other what we need.
Anyways… life’s about the same, not really any changes…
